After the sound of impossibly cheerful birds
the first that hits you upon waking is the disappointment
crushing in slowly with greater and greater force
a trash compacting of the soul.
At what point do you stop fighting back?
give in to the truth of your own mediocrity.
That life is not now and never going to look like that Pinterest board you labeled “fantasy”
And if by a miracle of fate it does, you will still not be satisfied –
there will be things you forgot to pin.
It’s not about what you do or don’t deserve.
It’s just that this is all you’re going to get.
Will giving in this resignation lead to despair or could it bring relief,
an unexpected happiness?
You don’t know, so you remain undecided.
Ready to leave your own life as soon as something better comes along.
You keep looking ahead, just in case it’s around the next corner
You are breaking your own heart;
Afraid to commit to yourself.

-ag
6/16/15

photo by alicia grega